Birth Order of Children

Here's another cute forward email I got yesterday--and SO true!! I only have two kids, but I think in many cases I'd skipped straight to level 3 (maybe because enough time had passed in between to have one or two more!). Of course, I'll add my comments below in italics. I am even going to add some observations of my own. If you think of any to add, submit them in the comments!

BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN

Pregnancy:

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

And we told everyone right away! I don't think I actually wore the maternity clothes right away, but I do remember being very anxious to wear them and did as soon as I started showing!

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

No, but I HAVE been asked if I'm pregnant even though I'm not. I look 3 months along all the time now.
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Preparing for the Birth:

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

I didn't believe in breathing to relieve pain (stress, maybe, but nothing but drugs relieves physical pain for me). But, we did take a childbirth class and took a tour of the hospital.

2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.

No classes and even though we went to a different hospital, we knew how to drive there and that was good enough.

3rd baby : You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.

Yeah, that's right!
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The Layette

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

Oh my gosh, these are SO true! I even bought the special kid hangers and had the closet organized by size and season before Vicki was ever even born! This time I'm just pulling things out of plastic tubs from the garage and hoping for the best!

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Worries:

1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

LOL, I think this is my favorite one!

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Pacifier:

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

My girls never took pacifiers or bottles, but the same concept applies to toys and clothes...

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Diapering:

1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.

2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

Correction: I waited until people DID complain about the smell and/or it sagged to their knees--man, those diapers can hold a lot! They're so dang expensive, you gotta get your money's worth!

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Activities:

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

Vicki was in ballet and tap. Poor Bridget--her extracurricular is the Children's Museum or jumping on the $5 one-person trampoline I got at a garage sale.

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Going Out:

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.

2nd baby : Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

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At Home:

1st baby : You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

I think this is funny, but actually for me, I enjoyed mothering much more the second time around and tried to slow it down as much as possible. With my first, I was so busy anticipating the next stage and it went so fast, I didn't know what had hit me. The second time around, I could stay home all day holding my baby and be happy if she never grew up.

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Swallowing Coins:

1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.

2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.

3rd child: When third child swallows a coin, you deduct it from his allowance!

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And here are a few of my own:

The Journey:

Baby 1: You buy one of those pregnancy journals and know what day you are "growing" eyelashes or toenails, keep track of your mood & weight gain & what you crave.

Baby 2: Been there, "grown" that, crave it all.

The Diapers:

Baby 1: You buy the expensive name brand, specially curved, cute printed diapers because nothing is too good for your child.

Baby 2: You buy the cheapest diapers you can find because you know they're just gonna be full of crap anyway.

The Grooming:

Baby 1: You get the special toothbrush for babies and brush their gums, you swear your kids' clothes will always match and their hair will always look perfect.

Baby 2: You don't buy a toothbrush until they have a full set of teeth, you don't care if their clothes match because you're just glad they're not running around naked in public like they did at home, and you're just lucky you got everyone to the destination in one piece so who cares what their hair looks like.

Discipline:

Pre-baby: You know everything there is to know about child-rearing because you've read all the parenting books and have watched people make errors you have learned from.

Reality with kids: You do what works (and what worked for one doesn't work for the next one) and some days you just feel like you deserve a medal because the kids are still alive by the time dad gets home.

Potty Training:

Toddler 1: You buy a fancy potty seat, make sticker charts that hang on the bathroom wall, buy cute underwear...

Toddler 2: You teach them how to hold themselves up on a "big people" toilet, give them a "high five" if they go, and they get generic and/or hand-me-down panties.

Changing clothes:

Baby 1: You're so excited to try on all the new outfits, you change their clothes at the slightest milk spill or wetness and have separate clothes for daytime, playtime, naptime, bedtime. (AND you take a picture in each outfit)

Baby 2: Sometimes they sleep in the same outfit two days in a row, all day and night... and poop has to run up their back before you consider the clothing too soiled to keep on for the next meal.

Nursing:

Baby 1: You might be afraid to leave the house if it's close to feeding time because you don't want to nurse in public.

Baby 2: You've nursed in every public bathroom of the local mall and maybe even in the isle at Wal-Mart.

Baby 1: While nursing, you have a water bottle filled and sitting next to you, an uplifting magazine/book, and you are immobilized until they are done nursing.

Baby 2: You can nurse while talking on the phone, cooking dinner, folding laundry and tending to your first child all at once.

Helping at School:

Child 1: You sign up for the PTA and every opportunity to volunteer there possibly is.

Child 2: You got burned out within a month the first time around, so you're playing it cool... only the child's classroom teacher knows you exist and you help her and go on field trips, but that's about it.

Education:

Baby 1: You read "What to Expect When You're Expecting" and have it highlighted and could teach a class on the subject.

Baby 2: You only use your parenting books as a REFERENCE library when your kid is sick or you're ready to bang your head against the wall because they're throwing another temper tantrum you can't figure out.

Taking Pictures:

Baby 1: You go through a roll of film in a week.

Baby 2: You're lucky if you get enough pictures to fill an album in a year!

Diaper Bags:

Baby 1: You buy the cutest baby bag you can find. (Like I need an excuse to buy a new bag anyway, LOL)

Baby 2: You buy the most functional baby bag you can find, in a color hubby won't mind carrying, and one big enough to hold entertainment for the older sibling, too.

Baby 3: You don't carry a diaper bag, just a diaper and a travel box of wipes and call it good.

Packing the Diaper Bag:

Baby 1: You have three changes of clothes, a whole case of diapers, brand new toys, enough wipes to last a week...

Baby 2: You have an extra onesie from the last overnight packing, but that's it... you have one or two diapers, or you forgot to pack them at all... you have half a wipe left... and random household items are what hold their interest best, so why buy the baby toys?