No baby

Well, I just returned from my ultrasound. The doctor and I are certain now there is no baby. By now we should have been able to see a yolk sac at least, but it's just an empty gestational sac. It did grow a little bit, but only a couple days worth in size when a whole week has passed. So, apparently by body is just a little slow to realized what's going on. Also, we could see there was a lot more blood in my uterus this time. So, it really is a miscarriage.

I have to take some medication tonight to begin the process (this way I don't have to wait for a month or two for my body to get the message that the sac is empty). I go back in for another ultrasound tomorrow to make sure I'm not bleeding too much. So, it's not going to be a fun weekend for me, but at least now I know what the game-plan is and I can adjust accordingly. Hopefully in a week or two I'll be feeling a lot better. I'm a wimp when it comes to pain, so I'm not looking forward to this one bit.

I'm very sad and disappointed and feeling very impatient at the moment (I wanted that baby and now it'll be at least year before I get to hold it, if it is meant to be that way), but I know Heavenly Father has a plan for me and my family. I'll be okay once the pain is gone, and then I can go forward from there. I think once my family is home tonight, we should celebrate all our blessings and a fresh start from here. It's been a long few weeks. It'll be good to move forward.