The Nutty Numbers Game

I must stop having expectations. Will things continue to be so unexpected if I stop having expectations? I don't know...

Okay, I did not post yesterday because I was waiting to hear from my doctor. I didn't want to give a partial report.

First, let me say that Dr. Salazar is a keeper.
I already posted how kind and efficient they were before I'd even stepped foot into the office.

Let me back up... I went to the not-so-nice office in the morning and tried to retreive my ultrasound pictures and bloodwork results to take with me to Dr. Salazar's office. I figure I'm paying for those tests, I have the right to get them. Well, once again, I had to fill out a form and someone would call me. I said I'd wait in the office. I was told I would only receive a phone call, no one would answer my request in person. I told the lady I'd go to lunch and come back. About an hour later, the nurse called me to tell me there were no ultrasound pictures. I argued saying I saw them on Monday. She said, "no, those are in your chart and you can't have them, but we'll make sure to get you some pictures when you come in for the next ultrasound on Tuesday." Then she gave me my hCG numbers over the phone.
Remember how she said on Thursday that my numbers hadn't even gone up a hundred points and kept repeating it was not a viable pregnancy and there was nothing else that could be done?
Okay, my hCG on Monday was 4704 and on Wednesday it was 4895. So, it has been a while since I tested out of college Calculous back in 1993, but I think that adds up to more than a hundred point increase. Why would the nurse lie to me about that?

So, fast forward to my afternoon doctor appointment in Greenwood. Dr. Salazar was very kind, very thorough and took his time. I didn't feel he was annoyed with me or wanting to rush me out of his hair. He did an exam and did his own ultrasound. He explained the blood in my uterus and measured the gestational sac. I still only measured at 5 weeks, same as Monday. Not good. But, he took the time to explain everything to me. He said that although this kind of thing is very common for them, and that almost all women miscarry at some point whether they know it or not, he understands is it not common for the individual and he expressed sympathy. He gave me a pamphlet on miscarriage so I had some education to take home. And he offered me a new option. He knew it would not be easy to wait it out a month or two to see when the miscarriage would take place, but knowing how scared I was of surgery, he said I could also insert these pills that would have a similar effect as a D & C, but in the comfort of my own home. They would flush everything out and he would then do another ultrasound to make sure everything came out okay. BUT, he wanted to be 100% sure we weren't killing anything that might still be alive, so he wanted to do one more blood test, thank goodness!

He put a STAT order on the blood test request. I went to Community Hospital for the test. They took 3 vials! Yikes! And then they never did call Dr. Salazar back yesterday! He had given me a script for the drug that starts the cleaning out part, but told me not to take it until he told me to. Oh, and he also prescribed me a pain killer, which I thought was so nice.

SO, the hospital finally called the doctor with my results this afternoon. Dr. Salazar called me on a Saturday at 3:15 to tell me the results and counsel with me!! How many doctors do that? Here's the crazy part--my numbers went up to 5900! That's still not a good number, but that is an awful big jump up when a miscarriage would bring numbers down! So, he told me NOT to take the pills, and instead, he called in a progesterone pill he wants me to take to help the baby grow if it's still there.

It still does not look good. But, he is not 100% sure, so he is taking precautions. That is exactly what I need in a doctor. I understand this does not look good--I understand it could still be an undeveloped pregnancy or something bad like that. In fact, now I'm quite scared of having a badly deformed or handicapped baby. He did not know why my numbers are going up so high without doubling, but he wants to get me in for another ultrasound on Thursday. He asked how I was feeling and if I'd had any spotting. No spotting, but I have had some discomfort in my back and lower abdomen. I assumed it was cramping, but who the heck knows now?

So, that's where things lie right now--just as much uncertainty as I've had all week long with all the ups and downs, but at least this time, I feel like I've got someone on my team instead of being dismissed as an annoying patient with false hopes.

WARNING: The next paragraph has some inappropriate verbiage...

Okay, so we all need some comic relief in these sobering circumstances, right?
So, here's mine.
I went to the pharmacy to get my pain pills and the Misoprostol (used to prevent ulcers, but when taken vaginally, causes the uterus to contract, therefore releasing this mess in my body). I know it's so gross, but you actually put the 4 pills in the vagina. I know, way too much information. But, it's worth it when you see the instruction label that was on the pill bottle:

I don't know about you, but I only have one vagina. So, I just rolled in laughter when I read the instructions!
That's good comic relief for my stressful week.